Friday, 6 of December of 2013

I’ve been here too long…

What was alluded to in the second post was the self esteem issue that I have been wrestling with lately. I honestly believe finding men to have sex on here was tied to a need to prop up my self esteem. If men allegedly found me sexy, then I felt better about myself. But it was a false prop and a vicious cycle.
I have met two – only two – men from this site since last January. One worked out rather well, though it was a convoluted process of compromise to get together. The second was meh, no thanks.
And you know what? I am pretty much perfectly fine with that. Wanna know why? Because I have decided I deserve better than casual, “I’d fuck anything” kind of sex. It just makes me wanna go “iPhone Porn“.
So this is sort of a new mindset for me…though there are other reasons for the possible hiatus. There are just other things going on that require time and thought. Some of these things are personal challenges to be a better person….and that just doesn’t seem to jive with what goes on here.


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