Wednesday, 19 of January of 2011

Relationships from a man’s point of view?

We always hear the rules of a relationship from the female side of things, well ladies here are our rules from a man’s point of view. these are our rules!!!!
these rules are numbered 1 on purpose!!!!
breast are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don’t try to change that.
learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl . If it is up, put it down. we need it up, you need it down. you don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Saturday sports. its like the full moon or changing of the tides. let it be.
shopping is not a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
crying is blackmail
ask for what you want. let us be clear on this one:
1. subtle hints do not work
2. strong hints do not work
3. obvious hints do not work
just say it!
yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
a headache that last for 17 month’s is a problem. please see a doctor?
anything we have said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. in fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days?
if you think you’re fat, you problem are. Don’t ask us.
if something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
you can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
not both
if you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself
whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
all men only see 16 colors, like windows default settings.

peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. we have no idea what mauve is.
if it itches, it will be scratched. we do that.
if we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing” we will act like nothing is wrong. we know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
if you ask a question you don’t know and want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
when we have to go somewhere; absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really it is.
don’t ask us what were thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topics such as: sex, sports or cars.
you have enough clothes.
you have too many shoes.
i am in shape, round is a shape.
thank you for reading this; yes i know i have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men rally don’t mind that, it’s like camping.
tell as many men as you can. these are serious issues to us, but may be funny to women.
tell as many women as you can- to educate them further on our phyce.

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